Beyond Exhaustion and then that One Moment
It is no secret that mothers and fathers who are the primary carer for children (whether new parents or seasoned warriors) are hands down the most over worked, underpayed and over fatigued members of society.
It's not easy having another little human depend on you 24 hours a day. It doesn't get easier as they get older either. I remember people telling me when I had a colicky newborn boy how much easier things get when kids get older. Its all lies. Now instead of having to feed him every 2 hours, it's a struggle to stop him from killing himself doing something ridiculous like jumping off furniture, running on the road or just plain tripping over his own laces. He is only 2, I can't even begin to fathom how difficult he could get when he has the ability to talk back or sass his mother.
All the trials of a near 2 year old toddler plus all the pains of fresh motherhood and caring for a newborn is testing. I never thought a newborn would be easier then my son. Now, no one can convince me otherwise.
How do we cope with the sleep deprivation, the constant running around with a toddler and the demands of running a household and day to day life? It's simple, we get very close to not coping, so fatigued that we will almost let the toddler drink the Windex, so emotionally drained that you want to cry with the newborn out of frustration and even hunger because heavan forbid you get 30 seconds to feed yourself, then The Moment happens. Everything goes away after that moment, it's like a reset button that only your children can press. Which is equally cute and infuriating because you can never catch the moment on camera, by the time your phone comes out - it's gone.
Until today, I caught a moment. Now seasoned mothers will know what I am talking about. So if you're like me and have multiple children, bare with me while I explain The Moment to those less experienced.
In each and everyday there are a million things to get frustrated over, hundreds of reasons why your tired and thousands more reasons why you just want to give up. When your a mother you multiply those figures by 10, and for all the day's faults, frustrations, emotional irrational bouts of sadness or happiness or even anger there is one moment that your child has with you watching or sometimes participating in that makes it all go away. It can be anything, walking past and seeing your child cuddling a teddy on the couch and watching their favourite movie or playing a game of tickles on the bed. Just one moment that suddenly without realizing it, you're not thinking about anything except enjoying that moment. Suddenly you're energised and ready to go. As if you had the best full night's sleep of your life.
That moment in everyday makes it seem easy to cope with everything. Now a lot of people will tell me that those moments that give you the smitten feeling or the warm fuzzies, won't happen everyday. Otherwise they aren't special right? Wrong! Each day has a special moment when it comes to children, I have seen a screaming toddler flip a switch and sit on my lap for a nap whilst watching Dumbo. That is a moment. One well timed cuddle - that's a moment too. People who say that these moments can't possibly be a daily occurrence, don't understand that no moment is special if you're not always on the lookout for them.
Today my moment was after a rough night with my little girl, a fight with my son in the shower to let me clean his hair and face, and a horrid morning dealing with 2 whiney dogs who disliked going outside in the windy weather. It wasn't anything special to someone outside looking in, but it was today's moment. My son crawled into my bed, sat next me under the blankets, kissed his little sister, and proceeded to chat away to himself while I laid down breastfeeding my little girl. A moment, impossible to catch on camera. Then a family cuddle which I did manage to catch so I can share it.
Nothing more then a simple bedtime cuddle and my horrid morning wasn't horrid. Things that happen in the morning or during the day set the pace for what the rest of the day will be like. Your attitude is set after the events of the day, until a moment comes and tips your troubles down the garbage. Something really simple, can turn a world of complexities into a walk in the park. Making problems seem smaller than before.
So tonight's advice in this short post, mummys and daddys of the world, keep your eyes open for The Moment! Because it makes the biggest difference, and it is something to be treasured always.
Forever Yours
Anni