Second Hand Isn't Second Best & Things to Never Run Out of With A New Baby
Things to Never Ever Run out of.
As a new mother you are met with so much anticipation by friends and family. They all want to meet the new baby and they all for one reason or another want to off you some advice, it can be tricky to navigate through all the excitement and the advice we all get when expecting a new baby.
As if that is not enough to confuse you, when you go to the stores it is so easy to get caught up in all the cute little outfits, bows for hair, toys, blankets and accessories. But how much of that do you really need? In fact, do you really need any of it at all?
With both pregnancies, I have found it so difficult to ascertain what is was necessity and what is just going to be another accessory that I forget about or never use. I don’t particularly have a huge house and as we are still renting, we are forever moving to a new house. So less is better for us. Yesterday I went for yet another round at the baby stores locally, had a look at clothes, toys, swings, prams etc to make sure I had everything I needed, I overheard a woman who was trying to buy a stroller for her newcomer. Instantly the sales consultant took her to the most expensive pram I have ever seen, when I heard the price I nearly fell over. Ok, so it is common knowledge that babies cost a lot of money and that you are going to spend a fortune just in the first few months, you can’t avoid spending a fortune before the little bundle even arrives. But honestly a stroller costing over $2000 is just ridiculous.
Anyway, this sales woman was very good at her job, yes I know it is her job to sell big ticket items like this, but I swear this new mother was nearly in tears. Being a nosey extrovert, I had to say something, so I waited for the sales woman to leave the mum-to-be to “have a think”. I told this woman, aside from having the glitz and glamour, she shouldn’t need to spend that much money on just one stroller. Being that I now have a convertible stroller that can take 1 or 2 children from newborn to 5 years old and I didn’t spend more than $500 on it (including all the accessories like bassinets, seats, fly veils), ok so it was second hand, but who coined the rule that you had to have all brand-new stuff for a baby? This woman worked out with a pram half the price and twice the functionality for her situation.
Safe to say this got me thinking. What do we as mothers need for a newborn. I mean really need… Right down to the basics. I had a look online to see what resources were available to readers and expecting mothers, and I did not find a single post, pamphlet, information site that just listed the core needs of a child. All of them had luxury items or “extras” like wall decors for a nursery, wall hangings, toys, ridiculously priced cot sheet sets etc.
Not being a first-time mum, I know not to buy into this commercial attitude when it comes to have children. But I tell you what, I spent so much unnecessary money for things Kyran still hasn’t even looked at. So how do mum’s who have never had children before and choose to live within their means (who don’t have the bank account of the rich and famous), have any fun baby shopping? Especially when the first thing that happens when you walk into a store is your sold items you cannot afford and or made to feel inadequate (most of the time probably not intentionally by the staff) for not being able to afford “the best for your child”.
I remember going shopping for a double stroller, so I can cart around my son and my new baby, I explained that my vehicle is an open back ute (for my American readers – truck), and that I needed the bassinet attachment to be foldable, so it didn’t blow away or it could fit between 2 car seats, when the sales woman couldn’t accommodate, her response was “well you should get a new car then”. Yeah sure, I’ll just pull that money right out of where the sun doesn’t shine and get a new car. Sigh, this is unfortunately the attitude that not only sales representatives have, but also a lot of “hoity toity” mothers too.
So how do we have fun within budget? Well I stopped shopping for big ticket items from baby stores, and started looking at second hand. It took a lot of emotional and logical processing to acknowledge that second hand does not mean second best, and regardless my child is going to get nice stuff, just at a third of the price.
I have to say I met some amazing people buying second hand and I loved driving around to different areas. I even got furniture I could revamp (we all know that I am a crafty mum so painting and making things new again really sparks enjoyment). Even my stroller was second hand. The only thing wrong with it was that it needs a new elastic band around the basket, its not even a necessity as the basket works perfectly without it.
Clothes are also easy to find second hand, but I understand if things like clothing and sheets are something you prefer to get as new.
Essentially, second hand is amazing and can be just as fun as going to look at the sparkly new things in store.
Anyway, this post is supposed to be about what we need as mothers and as individuals. So, I thought I would put together a realistic list of stuff to NEVER run out of when your baby arrives. Basically, these are going to make your life easier with baby and would probably end is disaster if you don’t have them on hand.
For Baby:
Nappies: Well this one is obvious, if you have chosen to go with disposable nappies make sure you have plenty in stock. There is nothing worse than waking up at 2am to change a dirty nappy, just to find that you have none left and the shops are all closed. I have had this happen once or twice when I let my hubby do the shopping. Baby was brand new and he never had to buy things for a baby before. From then on safe to say he never forgot to get nappies. He started buying nappies before the box was even half empty. I know I said I use cloth nappies, and I do 100% of the time, but first-time mummy-hood, initially I didn’t do my research and I was using disposables for about 6 weeks.
Wet wipes: I make my own wet wipes, so I am never at risk of running out. However, if you are choosing to use store bought wet wipes, I would recommend buying the large boxes available for sale. I know they are costly initially, but it is worth it. Imagine this: It is midnight, all the shops are closed, but you are ok because you can duck out in the morning to get the wet wipes, no big deal, right? WRONG! Baby wakes up and it is a poo-explosion, its on the walls, on the sheets, all over the baby. And you don’t have wet wipes to help you. Disaster has struck. Obviously, even with wet wipes your going to need to bathe that baby, but how do you go about getting the baby in the bath without first covering yourself in poo?
Your chosen pain relief: Teething and fevers can hit very quickly. Your baby could be fine one second and the next be running a fever, or start the teething process. I always make sure to have my chosen pain relief on hand. Fevers can be dangerous in newborns, so make sure that even if you are months away from terrible teething, that you have it available. Ibuprofen and Panadol are fantastic for managing fevers until you can get yourself to the hospital or health care professionals. Obviously choose something appropriate for your baby’s age and use it with care. Kyran has had pain relief like the before mentioned maybe 6 times total in nearly 2 years. I like to use a combination of natural anti-inflammatories (like amber necklaces, essential oils and cold teething soothers), before using the pharmacy products, but that is just my preference. I also recommend replacing (even if you haven’t used it all) opened pain relief every 6 months.
Teething rusks/rings: Teething comes hard and fast, there is no build up or warning, one day the pain will hit, much like when you have a tooth-ache, or those wisdom teeth just show up out of nowhere. Even if your baby is no where near the teething age (my son started teething 6 weeks before he was “supposed to”) have these rusks and rings cold and ready. Preparation is key when it comes to anything to do with babies.
Clean Clothes: I don’t think I really need to explain this one, but make sure you have plenty of clean clothes, babies vomit a lot. They need to change a lot. Trust me it’s like have costume changes at a concert, you will be shocked at how many times a day a baby needs to be changed. Especially if you are like me and hate have spew stains and other such things on baby when your out and about.
Vomit cloths: Take these everywhere with you. I use them as burping clothes, remember the last thing you want is to be covered in vomit after feeding baby while you are out shopping or having a nice time at mothers group. I have a huge aversion to vomit so I make sure to have them on hand. They are also fantastic for wiping up any mess along the way with baby.
Dummies/pacifiers (if you choose to use them): Whichever way you choose to sooth your baby, never run out of it. I use pacifiers for the first few months, and yes I know people have this stigma about them. To answer your question before it is even asked, NO it is not difficult to wean my kids off pacifiers, it only becomes difficult if you wait until they are 2 or 3 years old to start. Kyran was weaned off them at 8 months old.
For Mum:
Caffeinated beverage of choice: Being a mother is exhausting, even if you choose to bottle feed your baby, the daily demands of attention and feeding, plus the little sleep you get in the evenings all contribute to one tired-ass mumma. Keep something caffeinated around for yourself, even if it is just for those occasional days: It should be mentioned that beverages like Mother, Red Bull and all those high sugar energy drinks are not what I mean. I am talking like Teas or Coffees.
Relaxing or calming tea and scents around the house: When we are exhausted we tend to start getting frustrated or upset or even depressed about the way the house looks, the baby, bonding, if the baby doesn't settle you get stressed out. So I like to have a cup of calming peach tea, or have some nice calming scented oils around the house to help me cope. Remember you and baby feed off each other, if you get frustrated so does he/she, unfortunately, babies aren't equipped with the ability to break a negativity cycle when it starts, so you will need to be conscientious about these cycles and try to break free of them asap.
Patience: Oh God, this is probably the hardest thing to try and make sure you don't run out of, remember the relaxing oils and calming tea for this one. You must remain patient with your baby, if you are finding that you are losing it, put baby down somewhere safe and take a breather for a few minutes. Your baby isn't going to hate you or suffer any damage if you walk away for 5-10 minutes to collect yourself.
Cuddles from baby and your partner: Postnatal depression can be dangerous, it can make life extremely hard and it can turn into resentment for your own child or family. Make sure you are doing all the steps to avoid this happening, talk to people, go out. Tell your partner how they can support you... Your hubby wasn't a mind reader before you got pregnant and had the baby, he sure are hell can't read your mind now.
Water: Remain hydrated. It will help with fatigue and breastfeeding (if you choose to breastfeed). When we are mothers, we try to combat fatigue and tiredness anyway we can, it is so easy to reach for the iced coffee, but sometimes all our bodies need is a jug of water with some lemon and ice.
Breastfeeding pads and postpartum pads: Never, every run out of these things. Take them everywhere with you. Even if your postpartum bleed has stopped. It is important that you have them on hand, my bleeds stopped 4 weeks after Kyran, but occasionally would kick up again at the most inopportune moments. Besides, you can still use them for normal periods etc so handy to have just in case. Obviously if you are not breastfeeding, you don't need the breast-pads.
Your favourite snacks: I can't even tell you how often I have gotten up to baby, changed, bathed, and fed little man and forgot to feed myself. Come midday I hadn't even had breakfast yet because I would still be settling Kyran or washing clothes or doing housework. Have snacks on hand in case you have a difficult time getting to feed yourself occasionally.
Although it is true that I could continue these lists until your poor head explodes, these are the very basic every day needs, I am not going to list out nursery furnishings etc as I am pretty sure you would already have that covered, and it is obvious what should go in a nursery and what are extras. Anything else you may get along the way that is outside your day to day needs or nursery basics are bonus’. But if you cannot get those bonus’ remember that is exactly what they are… Bonus’ you’re not a shitty mother because you have plain walls instead of decorated wallpaper.
Forever Yours
Anni